


A Constellation Of Tears On Your Lashes

by Lilsciencequeen



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Torture, Jemma getting the support she needs, Kisses, Like Adults, Major Character Injury, Not Anti-Will, Not Canon Compliant, Surgery, Team as Family, Team looking out for Jemma, They actually talk this out, Violence, Will Isn't Hive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-08 14:56:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8849350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilsciencequeen/pseuds/Lilsciencequeen
Summary: Waiting to see if they would be returning was one of the hardest things that Jemma had ever done. She had no idea if they would return and the adrenaline that was coursing through her veins was starting to fade, the dull throb and ache in both her chest and stomach was blossoming into something more painful.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back! I had to take like a three week break from canon (on top of that hiatus!) while dealing with the last couple of weeks of my first semester at uni as I just had so many deadlines! But I should be giving semi-regular updates for the next couple of weeks so yay?  
> This one really focuses on what happens if Will came back as Will, and there was no Hive. It's kinda long but I really hope you guys enjoy this one!

Waiting to see if they would be returning was one of the hardest things that Jemma had ever done. She had no idea if they would return and the adrenaline that was coursing through her veins was starting to fade, the dull throb and ache in both her chest and stomach was blossoming into something more painful.

Everyone else was watching in a stunned silence like she was, waiting for the transport pod to return, hopefully with their team mates.

And they weren’t waiting much longer as Coulson first appeared but that was lost to Jemma for she felt her stomach constrict, only adding to the growing pain, the burden that she was carrying because he wasn’t there.

She couldn’t see him.

He wasn’t there.

It was like all her nightmares had come true all at once.

She felt the world start to tilt around her, starting to end when she heard it.

That voice.

 _His_ voice.

“Jemma.”

She let out a sob and ran into his arms, allowing him to embrace her.

She buried her head in his chest, allowing his voice to wash over her reassuringly, tethering her to the world.

Then she did something extremely stupid.

She reached up, and wrapped her arms around the back of his neck, her fingers interlacing with each other and kissed him.

She kissed him as though there were no other watching, she kissed as though that’s all that mattered.

It took him a moment to realise what was happening, just what she was doing, but then he was kissing her back, allowing his lips to dance delicately over hers. His hands were wrapped around the small of her back.

“Jems,” he whispered as she pulled away and looked up at him.

Tears of pain glistened at the edges of brown eyes, clinging to her lashes like a hundred thousand stars. Then he repeated her name in full, “Jemma.” Because something was wrong. She looked up at him and that’s when he caught on.

Her breathing was off, catching in her chest.

A horrible wheezing noise was coming from her.

“Hey, Jemma,” he whispered, helping set her down on the ground, leaning her against his chest.

It didn’t take long for the team to kick into action, Bobbi coming over, medical bag at the ready and examining Jemma.

“It was Ward, wasn’t it?”

A nod. “And the telekinetic. We were… we were separated. I don’t know what happened, what they did to her.” And if her screams, now permanently burnt into his mind, were anything go by then it couldn’t have been anything good.

The tone of Fitz’s voice was terrified because he knew that now the adrenaline was wearing off, Jemma was going into shock, and she was deteriorating at alarming rate. Her eyes were threating to roll back in her head.

“Hey,” he whispered to her again, as he stroked her hair, trying to keep her conscious. “You’re going to be okay, yeah? You’re going to be okay.” Fitz wasn’t sure if he was saying it to reassure her or himself more.

“She needs medical treatment,” Bobbi said, stating the obvious. She looked up, towards where Mack and May were standing. “Get a stretcher and on oxygen mask.”

They nodded, and were off before they knew it, Bobbi continuing to give orders, to try and reduce what damage what had done to Jemma, to prevent anymore from happening because she knew first-hand what it was like, and she didn’t deserve that.

“Jemma!” Fitz’s voice called out, startling everyone in the room. Jemma had collapsed against him, eyes shut. She didn’t move. “Please, Jems.”

Lincoln pulled away from Daisy, and ran to Bobbi’s side, as she pulled the young biochemist of Fitz, laying her across the floor. “We need a defib,” she stated, starting chest compressions.

Fitz watched in horror, everything going so horribly wrong in such a short space of time. “Fitz.”

It was Hunter’s voice, but he sounded as though he were underwater, far off on some distant planet. But he didn’t hear the mercenary, didn’t see the hustle and bustle in the room as some finally, thankfully brought a defibrillator.

Bobbi showed no mercy when she ripped off Jemma’s top, revealing the bloodied, bruised and burned mess that was her torso. It made him feel ill, caused him to physical gag once he saw the extent of what had been done to her.

He didn’t know how long Bobbi and Lincoln knelt there, trying to restart her heart, watching as each shock of electricity caused her body to jolt.

It was in the deathly silence of the room that he heard what Lincoln said to Bobbi, though by the way he leaned over and whispered it that he hadn’t meant for the room to hear. “Are we going to call it?”

Bobbi shook her head, using her sleeve to wipe away at the sweat that was glistening on her forehead. “We can’t. Not now.”

“Nothing’s working.”

“We’re not giving up on her,” Bobbi said, the venom laced heavily in her tone before trying again and again and again until…

“There’s a pulse,” came a soft small voice. Daisy. “It’s weak, but it’s there, I can sense it.”

Bobbi leaned back and closed her eyes, trying to fight back the tears. By this point, Mack and May had returned with the stretcher and they lifted her up onto it, strapping her in and rushing her to medical.

Fitz just sat there, in stunned silence as he watched everything transpire around him, being unable to do anything.

“C’mon,” Hunter said, helping him to his feet as the world around seemed to un-pause, seemed to spring into life again. “Let’s get you checked out and get you a drink.”

Fitz didn’t process anything, and allowed Hunter to lead him from the room.

Meanwhile, watching from a dark corner, not wanting to interrupt and being overwhelmed by so many emotions, was Will.

***

A number of hours later, with Jemma still being in surgery and no word from Bobbi with how it was going, Hunter decided that Will and Fitz should have a discussion about what was to happen _when_ Jemma got out of surgery and started to recover (because everyone was refusing to say if. If she survived. If she recovered. They simply couldn’t imagine the alterative).

“Right,” Hunter said, setting the two packs of beer that he was holding down on the table in between the two men. “I know that this is awkward…”

Will gave a snort of laughter, interrupting Hunter. Hunter remained passive, and didn’t let it get to him (well, he didn’t show that it got to him. As much as he hated the astronaut, he knew that he had to be somewhat thankful for him for helping Jemma, but then again, it was Jemma that they were talking about and she would have been able to do it all by herself if she had to). “You’re right there.”

Hunter bit his lip, nodded then continued, sitting at the head of the table as the two possible love interests stared at each other from across the table. “As I was saying, I know this is awkward but this isn’t about the two of you right now. Well, it kinda is but mainly it’s about Jemma. You two are both important to her, and you know what she’s like. We all do. About the guilt that she carries. So this,” he gestured between the two men. “Is the last thing that she needs right now. Especially after all that has happened, this is going to upset her and she doesn’t need that right now.”

Fitz looked up at his friend, trying to work out what was going on, what Hunter was planning. Because he knew, he knew that when it came down to it, that Jemma would chose Will, he had saved her, he had kept her safe all those months. And she had said that she loved him (and it was at this point that he tried to push those kisses from his mind, the kisses that had meant nothing compared to what she felt for Will). “What are you?” he began to ask before Hunter started speaking again.

“You two are going to sort out your differences like the adults you are, and you’re not going to make Jemma choose at all until she’s ready.”

He finished this with a nod of his head and reached for the first beer of what he supposed would be many of that night.

***

It was another three hours before Jemma got out of surgery and Bobbi allowed someone else to take over the care for her, something that Bobbi felt that she couldn’t physically do anymore.

She allowed Lincoln and the team of medics to wheel her back to the room that she would be staying in. It had been decided that until her body had started to recover from what had been done to it, placing it in an induced coma was the best bet. Bobbi had proposed the idea, saying that it would be the best as they all knew what Jemma was like and knew that she would try and work before she was ready.

But this time, Bobbi refused to let that happen, refusing to let Jemma do anything until she was truly ready, until she had recovered.

And she was determined to let Coulson know this.

So that’s where she was now, in the Director’s office, staring him down.

“Sir,” she said, her tone emotionless, detached knowing that this was the best way to go about it without crying. “We need to talk about Jemma.”

Coulson looked up, looking worse for wear, and weary. “Now?” he asked as though he had other things to be dealing with. Bobbi supposed that he did, but that didn’t stop the fury that was burning through her veins so she reached for the file that he was reading and dropped it on the ground.

It got his attention and he didn’t complain. Bobbi couldn’t help but wonder what exactly happened on the planet. No one had said anything about it; Will and Fitz were too worried about Jemma to think of anything else and Coulson had locked himself in his office as soon as she had been rushed off. Bobbi had an idea of what had happened but she didn’t speak it aloud, she didn’t want to until it was confirmed. “Sir,” she decided on in the end. “She’s currently lying in the medical bay, in a coma. In the past two years, she’s seen her world fall around her, watched her best friend sacrifice himself for her, was placed undercover at Hydra, survived six months on a different planet and has recently been tortured so much that her heart stopped on the operating table. This isn’t counting the fact that she’s watched so many of her friends die. We’ve failed her.”

Coulson remained unmoving until. “You don’t think I don’t know that?”

Bobbi scoffed. “You sent her undercover when all her records show that she should have been on the base receiving the therapy she so needed after what happened under water. She shouldn’t have gone back into the field weeks after returning from Maveth.”

“She asked for that mission. She went herself.”

Bobbi gave a harsh laugh. “You’re the boss. You’re the Director. You should have said no. You know her. You’ve been working with her since you put your rag tag team together. You know she puts others before herself, she always has. You should have read her files. She puts herself last regardless of the consequences and look where it put her. She was in surgery for nearly ten hours Coulson. Her heart stopped when she was on the table. It took us nearly an hour to get it started again. She was dead.”

Finally, that got a reaction from Coulson. “Are you implying something Agent Morse.”

“I am.” The statement was blunt. “You helped to put her in the way of harm so we’ve, the team, have made a unanimous decision that when it comes to her for the next number of weeks, until she can decide for herself, that we make all decisions for her regarding her treatment and what she can and can’t do on base.”

“You have no authority to do that.”

Bobbi gave a wicked smile. “Article 32 allows for us to do that. Did you even read what Fury gave you?”

Coulson met her gaze, one of icy fire. “I think you best get back to your patient Agent Morse.”

The blonde woman spun on her heel, exiting the office.

***

Daisy was in the room with her, watching her still form recover. Despite the position that she was in, how pale she was and how many bandages covered her body, and the breathing tube that was down her throat, there was something peaceful about Jemma. For the first time in months, she looked as though she wasn’t battling demons, that she wasn’t fighting herself or carrying the weight of the world on her shoulder.

And Daisy was determined that it would remain that way for as long as possible.

Her first step in this plan was to make Jemma feel comfortable, already done by the bunch of daisies that sat in the vase next to her bed and the stuffed monkey (a gift from Fitz during their first Christmas together) was cuddled next to her.

And upon Daisy’s lap sat one of Jemma’s favourite books, ready to be read.

“I’m sorry,” Daisy began, speaking to the woman that she considered a sister more than a friend. “For everything that happened to you. You shouldn’t… you should never have gone through this. And Fitz… he can’t be here. So sorry for that. He’s in a debriefing. So you’re stuck with me. But you helped me in this situation, after Quinn shot me. So I’ll be here, for whatever you need, okay?”

The room remained silent but Daisy reached and took her friend’s hand in her own, careful not to move or pull out any of the many wires that were attached and stroke her thumb over the back of Jemma’s hand.

“I know we failed you but we won’t, okay? We won’t fail you again.”

***

 A number of days passed with the team in a sort of numb state after all that had happened, and learning of Ward’s death, Bobbi and Lincoln decided that it was now or never. They decided to lift Jemma’s coma, knowing that she had to do the rest and that there was still a chance that she wouldn’t survive. Lincoln was thinking practically but he knew that Bobbi wasn’t. She kept saying that Jemma would fight it, that she was stronger than everyone knew.

Lincoln wasn’t so sure.

So when Jemma awoke a couple of days after that, it was a surprise to him.

“Hey,” he said, watching her eyes flutter open as she took in the world around her. “How are you?”

She stared at him, and tried to say something but couldn’t. Though the breathing tube had been removed, she still was unable to speak, her throat dry.

“She’s going to be just fine,” came a smug voice. Hunter. Jemma rolled over to look at him and found her head landing on something soft that was not a pillow.

It was the stuffed monkey, Peanut, that Fitz had gotten her all those Christmases ago. She met his eyes and they seemed to be screaming at Hunter, wondering where the engineer in question was. Hunter wondered how much she remembered of that day.

Lincoln shot him a look as he adjusted Jemma’s IV, a look that told him that he should _not_ do what he was about to do.

But this being Hunter, he did it anyway.

“Jemma,” he said, reaching and taking her hand reassuringly. She stared down in confusion but allowed him to speak.

***

She had been stuck in medical for nearly a week now since waking up and she was starting to get irritated. She hadn’t seen Will, or Fitz, since she had been moved in there, Bobbi banning the two men from entering, saying that it wouldn’t be beneficial for Jemma’s health and wellbeing in this stage of her recovery.

“Jemma?” asked a voice. Daisy.

She looked up from her lunch, staring at her friend and ceasing to stab her salad.

“Are you okay?”

Jemma shrugged. “I don’t like it here.”

Daisy gave a reassuring smile. “Bobbi says another two weeks, then you can go back to your bunk.”

Jemma just sighed.

“At least,” Daisy began, joking. “You know how we all feel when you lock us up in here.”

“I suppose.”

It was at this point that she sensed something was off with her friend. “Jemma, what’s wrong.”

No answer. So Daisy pressed on. “You want to speak to them, don’t you?”

Slowly Jemma nodded. “Just…” She shrugged, and threw down her fork. “Bobbi says I’m not supposed to.”

Daisy leaned over, and put her hand on Jemma’s arm. “I can get them if you want. You know how much they want to talk to you.”

Jemma nodded. “I just don’t want to upset any of them.”

Daisy felt a wave of sadness wash over her, at just what Jemma could be feeling. “They’ve talked it out, Will and Fitz.”

“They have?”

A nod. “Yeah, they didn’t want to cause you anymore stress.”

“So all I need to do now is what? Decide?”

“Listen. All you need to do is listen to them.”

“They’ve decided for me?”

“No, they’ve not but they… they want to talk to you about the future, what could happen, about what they want and what they think is best for you, for everyone. But Jemma, if you’re not happy with it, if you don’t want it, you don’t have to do it. You can put yourself first, you do what makes you happy and don’t worry about if anyone else gets upset.”

Jemma nodded, biting at her lip nervously, knowing that no matter what came of this someone would have their heartbroken.

“You know I’m here for you, whatever you decide, whatever happens?”

***

Jemma was expecting Fitz to come in first not Will. From what she heard from her teammates was that Fitz was getting irritated at not being able to get in, at not knowing how she really was, only hearing what was being passed on.

“Jemma,” he said, taking the seat beside her bed.

“Will,” she replied back, in a state of shock. She knew that he was back, but there was that voice in the back of her mind that told her that it wasn’t true, that it was all false. “How are you?”

He shook his head, and gave a small sad laugh. “I should be the one asking that, after what happened to you.”

Jemma cringed, knowing just what she had put everyone through at hating herself for doing it. “Sorry.”

“Don’t,” he said, sighing. “You don’t need to apologise for anything Jemma. You and Fitz, you did it. You brought me home.”

“He did it.”

“You _both_ did it.”

She frowned then. “I guess we did.”

Will tried not to wince, seeing just what Jemma was feeling. He hated it, feeling his stomach twist at the very thought of it. She deserved so much more than this pain and suffering, she had too good at a heart for this.

“And I want to talk about us,” he said, biting the bullet, ripping the plaster off. He knew that this conversation wouldn’t be pleasant, and despite the fact that he had spent so long prepping for it, he still didn’t feel ready for it.

“I suppose we should.”

“Jemma, I don’t think… back here…. We were never going to work, were we? As a couple.”

Jemma stared at him, her brain processing the words that he was saying. Before she could speak Will continued. “I know how much he means to you, how important Fitz is to you. How much he loves you and how much you love him. I saw how you reacted when he came back.”

“You did?”

He nodded. “You had eyes for only him, and when you thought he hadn’t come back, it looked like your whole world was over.”

Jemma felt her stomach twist because that was true. She had felt as though the world would have ended for her had Fitz not returned, she just didn’t know that Will had seen that all. “You saw that?” her voice was a soft whisper.

“Yeah, yeah I did. And Jemma, I’m not angry. You could never hurt me, you could never upset me. I’m home because of you. I’m away from that hell because of you. That’s all I ever wanted, and you gave that to me. And I can’t thank you enough for that.”

Jemma nodded, squeezing her eyes, and feeling the first tears start to flow down her face, streaking down her cheeks.

“Hey,” he reached over and wipe away her tears. “Don’t cry. Not over me. I want you to be happy and I can’t give you that Jemma.”

“Are we breaking up?” she asked, her voice breaking.

Will shrugged. “Where we ever really together? I know how much Fitz means to you, how much you love him. And I can’t stand in the way of that. I never could. And we talked it out, me and Fitz. He knows all this, he agrees with this. And you love him, yeah, can’t imagine your life without him? He’s the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, move to Perthshire with?”

Slowly, Jemma nodded.

“I understand Jemma, I really do. And I’m not angry, I never could be, I just want you to be happy. And thank you again. For rescuing me. I can never thank you enough.”

“Are you leaving?”

“Yeah, the team is helping me readjust, but I’ve a bag packed, I was always going to leave base after this talk.” He gestured between the two of them.

She nodded. And watched him go, unable to say anything because she knew that she would cry if she tried to. 

He disappeared out the door, only to reappear a moment later. “And Jemma, make sure you get that dinner with him.”

Moments later, Fitz was at the door, and running towards her, climbing on the bed beside her, and bundling her into his arms.

“Hey,” he whispered, stroking her hair, and rocking her gently to comfort her. “It’s okay, it’s going to be okay.”

She didn’t do anything, say anything, just let all the emotions that she had been holding back for so long now escape her in one single moment.

She allowed herself to be comforted, allowed herself to let go and to have what she had wanted for so long.

She didn’t know how long she remained there, wrapped in his arms.

***

Days later, after she felt like she had no more tears left to cry, she was lying on the hospital bed with him, wrapped in his arms, both of them being extremely careful not to pull out any of the IV drips or wiring that was attached to her.

“I forgot about this,” Fitz said, speaking of Peanut that was wedged between them. “I thought it was lost during the uprising.”

Jemma shook her head. “No. May… May got it back after. I…”she began then shook her head, laughing. “I took him to Hydra with me.”

He brushed a strand of hair out of her face and smiled at her.

“What?” she asked, trying not to laugh but failing. It was that smile on his face, one of pure happiness that she hadn’t seen so long.

He shook his head, taking her hand in his and giving it a loving, reassuring squeeze, a way to show her that this here, it was all real, something that she sometimes still struggled with. “It’s nothing.”

“What?” she asked again. Because judging by that smile on his face, it wasn’t nothing.

He sighed, and smiled down at her. “You. It’s just adorable.”

“Me or Peanut.”

He laughed at this.

Then he leaned in, and attempted to kiss her.

But as he leaned in, so did she, and they bumped noses.

“We’re not very good at this,” she commented, once they had managed to succeed.

“At what?” he asked, because he didn’t believe for one moment that there was anything that Jemma Simmons was bad at.

She looked between them. “This whole kissing thing.”

“We can always practice. Isn’t that what people say, things like this take practice.”

“Are you,” she began, scared to ask and to presume in-case she was reading the whole situation wrong. “Asking me out?”

He nodded, a new-found confidence in him that she hadn’t known for so long. “Yeah, yeah I am. Only, only if you want to. We could go see a movie or something.”

She smiled, feeling it flow through her veins, overtaking her (and it was so much nicer than the pain and guilt that had resided there for so long now. “I would love that. But can we go for dinner please?”

**Author's Note:**

> I was never going to make the ending anything but FitzSimmons, because lets be real, Will was also a FitzSimmons shipper and I feel both he and Jemma knew they would never work out as a couple. And I've been wanting to use these lyrics from My Songs Know What You Did by Fall Out Boy for so long now. Thanks for checking out and reading, I hope you enjoyed and would love to hear what you thought! It's you guys who keep me going!


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